What Kind Of Monster Have I Become?

When I felt the fire go down through my chest I could hear this Carlise guy keep telling me what was happening to me.  I didn't make sense at all.  I thought the intense burning I was going through was messing up my hearing but that can't be possible because I think I hear whispers and footsteps that a man could not simply hear.  I didn't understand why this Carlise left me in the fire, you would think a normal person would have pulled me out of the blaze. As my Angel had asked if I could be saved.

As she held my hand during much of the pain filled me, I learned her name was Rosalie.  A beautiful name for a beautiful angel.

With this pain I was feeling I was wondering if she was a Siren calling out to me and drag me to hell.  I wondered if maybe I was a bad person and I had died and had gone to hell, but the soft voices around me made me feel that it couldn't be.  As the flame did go through my body I did feel my broken bones heal.  However this just can't be real.  That bear had me dead to rights.  I remember very little about screaming for help whether it was for the pain of the bear, or the pain I was feeling.  And now I had Carlise and this new guy called Edward, talking to me about becoming a vampire.  Vampires indeed they were figments of old wives tales, scary stories, books, and superstitious nonsense.  They explained to me the strength I would have the first year and how careful I must be.  I could not be social with humans, they cannot know how different we are.  That the first year is the hardest because of the strength and desire.  I will always crave human blood.  However I could learn another way to exist where I can be near humans and not hurt them.

I heard Rosalie ask, "Is everything was OK?  Carlise answered "It's almost time, another 10 minutes to go, give or take a few minutes."  Rosalie was worried, but Edward and Carlise both said I will be fine.  I heard Carlise ask Rosalie and Esme(another one?) to stand outside as they started to help me with my new life.

Once my eyes opened and I saw things with much more clarity, so defined I could see tiny imperfections in the walls and ceiling, ones that I know no one who was normal would be able to see.  Again I refused to believe what was being told to me.  All I wanted to think of was the fire still in my throat, and how I needed to quench it.  They told me they were different than others.  That they only drank animals blood, that was why their eyes were amber in color.  I looked at the full length mirror in the room, and was shocked to see that I was as pale as they were, with a more statuesque look.  Someone must have gone shopping for clothes for me, as neither these two gentlemen were my size.  The shock of what I saw made me want to believe what they were saying.  Then I looked up and really was shocked when I saw my eyes.

I kept asking, and Carlise kept telling me that those are the eyes of a vampire, however if I chose their way of life it would take time but will look amber in color, which helps them fit into society better.

I was confused and angry at this point, and I wanted to run, but Carlise and Edward hovered real close, making sure I wouldn't bolt out the door, but they didn't expect my personal angel walking through the door.

Rosalie spoke first.  "Emmett, I don't know where to start."  "Start"!  I yelled back at her.  "I thought an angel came to take me from this earth to heaven, instead I was burned alive in the hell of this worthless world.  I never thought the devil could look so beautiful", I seethed.

Rosalie started to answer, but before she could a word out of her mouth, I ran past her, away from the bodyguards of Carlise and Edward, out the door and ran right into Esme She hit the back wall with so much force I didn't know how she was still standing let alone try to hold me back.

I ran down, out the front door, and into the woods.  I smelled a wonderful smell, and the speed of running took me quite by surprise.  I ran towards the smell and jumped on the hunter without him hearing or seeing me.  How ironic it is that the hunter became the hunted.I bit him and drained him dry.  I fell to my knees yelling OH GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!" *1

By that time the whole family so to speak had found me and consoled me for what I had done.  They kept saying it was not my fault for they haven't helped me yet.  I honestly can't see how the death of this man was not my fault considering I was the one who did it.

They slowly brought me back to the house and started again with what, who, how, why I ended up the way I was.  "Rosalie," I said, "please forgive me for the things I said to you. "You look like and are an angel to me, I just need some time to get used to this life".  Rosalie responded "We have forever Emmett".  "It may sound strange Rosalie, but I feel a certain connection to you, like we were meant for each other" I answered her, and she smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen, she was my angel.

Emmett Lewis McCarty

Born July 9th 1917

Died April 20, 1935 *

Emmett Lewis Cullen

Reborn April 23, 1935 *

I know this was quite long, but I have much to say about that 1st year.  Next time I write will be how I received my new name.

Until then,

Emmett

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*1 Rosalie's Diary

*, * Dates of died and reborn from Rosalie's Diary

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Rosalie's Diary can be found at here