Here I was heading towards New York's Grand Central Station. I could have run faster than the train if I was so inclined, but Carlise would have been disappointed in me. I was rather glad at the fact that the train was slower, as it gave me more time to think about what I was going to say to my family regarding Edward's decision not to return with me.
Everyone was afraid that would be me that would not be returning, and worse yet I would turn into the monster I could become. I was finding it very difficult not to let the monster in me taking over. It is very difficult to be around so many different blood odors. Everyone has a particular scent as if they are wearing different perfumes or cologne. If that is not bad enough listening to their heartbeats is almost overwhelming. I don't need to breathe, however it makes us more conspicuous to the humans if we don't. Humans are attracted to us immediately. The way we look, smell, and talk makes us the worst kind of monster. Our victims come to us, are drawn to us without rhyme or reason. Everyone knows to run away from wild animals, anyone that looks menacing, areas that can isolate you from the bustle of the street, and things that go bump in the night. The real problem is that they don't believe anything they can't see. If they don't see it, then it must not be real. Therefore there isn't anything like a vampire or a werewolf, so they walk right in, and never even think about what or why, they are just lambs to the slaughter.
When it began to be unbearable I would step outside between the trains and calmed myself. When I would get my head clear I would take the time to rehearse my words about Edward. I imagined each of their faces. Esme would be the hardest hit as much as a mother that I could ever ask for. Carlise who considers Edward his son, as he turned him and they have been together ever since. I am sure that he will stand stoic yet still inside he will be suffering over the feeling of loss. My Rosalie will be bothered but she and Edward really just tolerate each other. I personally believe they care for each other more than they care to admit.
I went back into the first class car as most of the people went into their sleeper cars. I looked at the papers left behind and found a Chicago newspaper. I just read the major stories about the city, and it found myself thinking about who wouldn't see a tomorrow.
Doesn't it always seem that you get to where your going faster when you are dreading about what is ahead, instead it drags on when you want to get somewhere you really want to go to. Well it seems like that to me anyway.
As the train pulled into New York I realized that I still haven't figured out what I was going to say about Edwards disappearance. As the train pulled into the station I could see my family waiting anxiously for me to disembark and join them. Esme looked as if she was crying if she: could. God I hated that look, it was like a mother losing her child. With Esme brings back some of human memories she has. She lost a child in her human life. She had jumped off a cliff thinking she had nothing to live for. Carlise found her in the morgue dying when he turned her, and made her his wife. It's a long story which I will share with you some day, but not today.
I jumped off the train, maybe a little too fast in front of the humans, but I needed to be in my angel's arms where I would be whole again. Carlise didn't even reprimand me for the action. I ran to my Rosalie grabbing her and swung her around and hugged her as hard as I could in front of the humans, then I kissed her as loving as I could not and not cause a scene. Next came Esme. She hugged me as if I would disappear right in front of her eyes. She whispered in my ear "Welcome home son, I've missed you so much, we all have, we all have, especially Rosalie." With that I heard a small growl knowing it was Rosalie. I laughed loudly at her, which made her turn away with that YOUR GOING TO GET IT look, which of course made me laugh even harder. Rosalie doesn't enjoy anyone talking about her feelings, but she will accept Esme telling it, after all Esme taught her how a mother should be with her child. Love instead of controlling, affection instead of manipulation, and accepting her just the way she is not using her for placement in society. No Esme could do no wrong even if she does. Last came Carlise. He patted me on the back, and gave me a hug the way fathers do when they greet their son. "Welcome home son, I'm glad you made it without any incident." eg: I am relieved that you didn't kill anyone!
I searched everyone's eyes and wondered why none of them asked me where Edward was. They all seemed to be hazy and unreadable. My mind was racing trying to figure out what to say. Again I wondered why they haven't asked where Edward was. Was I really happy to be home?
I stared back at them and said very quietly "I have something to tell you". "We know" replied Carlise with sadness in his voice "let's go home and you can tell us what happened."
This Journal is no way affiliated with Stephanie Meyers; it is fan fiction and just that. It is meant to be read as fun, and written with imagination.
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