Finally!

February 1937

After planning this trip for as long as I have, I have surprised myself that I'm not as excited as I thought I would be.  I am not saying that I am not glad to be here, as I am, it's just that I need to be here. To be sure I am not recognized by anyone, I am going out in the evening and am standing in the shadows.  Since human memories become may have muted, faded, or totally disappeared entirely I cannot be seen period.  That is one of the reasons Edward is here with me.  He is damage control, my eyes and my ears.  The other reason is to stop me from dining on anyone here.

We arrived in Springfield close to dawn.  Springfield Tennessee is only 26 miles from Clarksville, which is where I am from.  We took the overnight train to make it easier on us.  As we do not sleep we had an advantage over the humans.  We were able to hide right in sight.  Although after awhile the sluggish speed of the train seems to wan on the nerves.  Fortunately to move from one car to another you actually are outside.  If any blood became too sweet I would just go out and clear my head.  About 2AM I was starting to become really bored.  I felt too wired to pretend to sleep so I thought "hey Edward come outside with me."  I kept thinking hard about Rosalie not to make him suspicious.  "What do you want?" Edward asked as the door closed behind him.  "Not much I guess," I started my answer, then I swung around punched his shoulder and hissed "Your it!" as I ran up on top of the trains and thus began our game of tag.

If you could imagine 2 vampires running from train to train, up, down, inside and out, at a speed that is nothing but a blur to humans, you would definitely laugh at the antics Edward and I were up to.  We ran silently through the sleeper cars, walked casually through the open cars, and I did manage to push Edward totally off the train twice.  It is hard to do anything with Edward because of his advantage over you.  I hope someday in this forever he will meet someone who's mind is unreadable, I would love to see the frustration it would cause.

When we stopped our game of tag we went and sat in first class.  It was heavily littered due to the overnight ride and many uppity people believing that the servants would get it.  Edward and I sat across the aisle from each other and for awhile I closed my eyes as if to sleep, actually I was thinking of Rosalie and her errand of mercy.  I was hoping it was not going to be too trying for her and Esme.  Esme I knew would be alright, but this was hitting very close to home for my angel.  Plus I missed her.  I loved her and I missed her.  She has that very tight pull over me.  A very low hiss came from Edward.  Without opening my eyes I  whispered "Is something wrong?"  He didn't reply.  I assumed he was just reading my thoughts and didn't like all the Rosalie thoughts I was having.

I opened my eyes just before they called our stop in Clarksville.  I saw Edward with a look on his face that I never had seen on him before.  It was a murderous look.  In his hands was the Chicago Daily Times.  I had forgotten, well that is not quite true vampires do not forget anything, but those things to us that are not of top priority gets filed away until we need the information again.  As I was noting, I had forgotten that Edward was from Chicago.  His parents died there of the Spanish Influenza, and there he was changed by Carlise.  "Edward," I said maybe a little too sharply but it caught his attention, "What's the matter?  You are scaring some people."  Edward looked back at me and I could tell he was concentrating on making himself look and act calm.  "Nothing really Emmett," he answered back, "Just some news from home."  I looked at the paper quickly and read some of the headlines.  Amid the normal talks of the day, war, it seemed to be the daily news of Chicago regarding gangsters, racketeering, and it appears that the steel workers were on strike.  It was enough news of Chicago to depress a normal man, but a murderous look?  I'm not so sure.

We entered Clarksville about 5AM and from there ran the 26 miles to Springfield.  Edward stopped to pick up any Chicago paper he could find at the newsstands.  Since at the time there were 5 different newspapers to choose from he had little trouble getting his hands on one of them.  We chose the hotel we were going to stay at and after checking in he went to the lobby newsstand and ordered and paid for a month of the papers to be ordered and kept for him to pick up.  I can tell you that I am somewhat worried about Edward and his sudden interest in the Chicago News.  I did try to ask him what was going on, and got nothing back add to that the fact we were in separate rooms, it was hard to keep an eye on him.  I really believe that we are what we are, and our nature is to drink blood, human blood.  Even if we have been animal drinkers I don't think we will ever lose our taste for human blood. Sometimes I wish I had his gift of mind reading, I would love to know what was in that mind of his.

After checking in we both took showers and looked 100% better than when we walked in.  It's amazing how great a shower can make you feel.  As soon as it was safe to go out on the street we went to the local library to read back newspaper issues around the date of my death.  We found enough to give me the sense of who I was, and where I was headed.

According to the newspapers I had already graduated High School, and was going to start college at The University of Tennessee in the fall of 1935.  According to the society announcement I was going to study Business and then join my father in our family business in which we owned several stores and hotels.  On another society page was the announcement of my engagement to a Mary Louise Simmons.  According to the announcement we were to be wed after my college commencement.  She is beautiful, the picture of her brought back a small pull for me, but now my heart belonged to my angel.
Then came the headline "Local Boy Missing in the Appalachian Mountains"  It read:  Local Boy, Emmett Lewis, 17, did not return as scheduled from a planned hiking trip.  Rangers have been searching for Mr. Lewis since his father reported him missing when he didn't return home on the day he was supposed to.  As of now the rangers are searching close to his itinerary, yet they have found nothing.  Mr. Lewis is due to graduate this coming June, and attend the University of Tennessee this fall. Edward and I kept up on the story of the search and rescue for a few weeks until it changed to "Local Boy Feared Dead"  Basically it repeated all the information, including where the search was held.  Apparently my backpack was found torn to shreds, and there were bear prints around the campsite.  It went on to state what an experienced hiker I was, had some quotes from friends about what kind of person I was; fun loving, prankster, and very loyal.  My obituary stated that I left my parents, my grandmother Eloise, grandfather Roland, an older sister Margaret, a younger sister Judith, and a younger brother Joseph.  It also mentioned my fiancee Mary Louise Simmons.

It was hard to read about my death.  I had a hard time trying to figure out how my death impacted those I loved.  Once I had all the details I then started to go and eavesdrop on my family.  When I heard their voices and laughter vague recollections started to enter my head.  It began to feel like home to me again.  I wanted to make sure that everyone was fine and had accepted the inevitable.  I entered the house one night when everyone was sleeping and went through the house.  My old room looked like I never left it.  I had a beautiful picture of Mary Louise on my desk, along with my planner and date book.  I fingered through it so see what I had noted that seemed to be so pending and now so insignificant.  It held the dates for prom, graduation, and all the parties.  It appeared I had something planned in my free time between my trip and summer vacation.  It appears as if I led a full life.  In the sitting room I found my picture, and many family photos that we were all in.  I went searching for unframed photos, I wanted one of my whole family to keep with me.  It took me two nights but I finally remembered where Mom kept all the pictures.  I also took one of Mary Louise and myself.  I know Rosalie will be somewhat jealous, but I want to keep my past my past, but I would like to have some pictures with me for eternity.  Talking with Edward about it, he agrees that Rosalie will get upset, but will believe me that it is part of my past that makes me what I am.

During my invisible family time Edward would disappear.  I did stop by his room one evening and saw all the newspapers that had accumulated in his room.  I saw all the handwritten notes on the stories and asked him about them.  He said he was tracking crime rate and what was happening.  I didn't think much more of that.

I also found out that my older sister had married and I have a nephew.  She named him after me.  He is a joy as I watched from afar.  He is just starting to walk, and of course I swiped one of his pictures for myself.  I also watched Mary Louise.  From what I have heard and seen she has just started dating again.  My wish for her is all the happiness she deserves.  She will make a wonderful wife and mother, and the lucky gentlemen who steals her heart better take very good care of it, or I may have to come back and deal with him.

Edward has helped me so much through this self discovery trip I've been on.  He has been my rock helping me uncover and paste my past.  One night when we were hunting Edward asked me if I thought this trip was worth it to me, to shore up my past, if I really felt I could leave this all behind.  I explained to him that the past is what makes up the future.  It seems I was not a devil in my past life.  My life was full, my loved ones mourned me and have moved on.  My fiancee has seemed to also move on.  I can move forward now without regret.  I can leave and never return.  I can love my Rosalie without any doubt left behind, and my angel deserves someone without any reservations.  It is funny how people cope with death.  It seems to have pulled my family closer, and had made them realize to be thankful for what they had now, and not worry about what they will have in the future.

I was starting to plan our trip to New York to meet up with Esme, Carlise, and my Rosalie.  That is when I noticed that Edward had started to receive the local paper.  I asked Edward, "What are you up to?"  "Nothing that concerns you" answered Edward a little on the nasty side.  I assumed he was hungry and offered to go hunting, he said he was fine.  It was right after that I swear I could smell human blood on him, and shortly there ever his eyes were becoming tinged with red.  I then put it all together, he was becoming a judge and jury with all the newspapers.  "We are leaving today!" I yelled at him.  All he could answer was "Fine."

"Edward, what has gotten into you?" I asked.  "This injustice has to end," he replied.  "The police are just as corrupt as the culprits who are causing the damage.  Emmett, they are real people, real people who are being hurt.  Everything from losing their life savings to being beaten for speaking out.  There are women in Chicago being abused by the police, using their nightsticks to poke their breasts and their groins.  I just can't stand the injustice anymore."  "Edward," I answered calmly "You know we just don't get involved in such things."  "I know," he answered, and I believe Carlise would be very disappointed with me."  "I wouldn't worry about Carlise Edward, I would just worry about losing yourself in this self imposed vendetta.  Don't become the monster that we have latent inside us."

With that we headed the 26 miles to Clarksville to board the train to New York, to our recent home, to our family, to my Rosalie.

While we waited Edward was quiet.  He folded back into himself, back to being depressed and morose.  I was so relieved when the train came.  We boarded the train and found seats in first class, and just as the train was going to pull out of the station, Edward stood up and announced "Emmett, give my best to Carlise, explain to him how sorry I am, but I am not going back.  Tell him I may be back, but right now I know what I need to do".  "Edward!" I hissed, he knew I couldn't yell in the car, nor would I restrain him.  No matter what we tried to be Carlise insisted that we knew we could go our own way.  "Edward," I said a little deflated this time, "Have you really thought about what you are about to do?"  "Yes" was all he answered as he turned and left me.

I sat alone thinking about what I was going to say when I reunited with my family.

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