Finally!

February 1937

After planning this trip for as long as I have, I have surprised myself that I'm not as excited as I thought I would be.  I am not saying that I am not glad to be here, as I am, it's just that I need to be here. To be sure I am not recognized by anyone, I am going out in the evening and am standing in the shadows.  Since human memories become may have muted, faded, or totally disappeared entirely I cannot be seen period.  That is one of the reasons Edward is here with me.  He is damage control, my eyes and my ears.  The other reason is to stop me from dining on anyone here.

We arrived in Springfield close to dawn.  Springfield Tennessee is only 26 miles from Clarksville, which is where I am from.  We took the overnight train to make it easier on us.  As we do not sleep we had an advantage over the humans.  We were able to hide right in sight.  Although after awhile the sluggish speed of the train seems to wan on the nerves.  Fortunately to move from one car to another you actually are outside.  If any blood became too sweet I would just go out and clear my head.  About 2AM I was starting to become really bored.  I felt too wired to pretend to sleep so I thought "hey Edward come outside with me."  I kept thinking hard about Rosalie not to make him suspicious.  "What do you want?" Edward asked as the door closed behind him.  "Not much I guess," I started my answer, then I swung around punched his shoulder and hissed "Your it!" as I ran up on top of the trains and thus began our game of tag.

If you could imagine 2 vampires running from train to train, up, down, inside and out, at a speed that is nothing but a blur to humans, you would definitely laugh at the antics Edward and I were up to.  We ran silently through the sleeper cars, walked casually through the open cars, and I did manage to push Edward totally off the train twice.  It is hard to do anything with Edward because of his advantage over you.  I hope someday in this forever he will meet someone who's mind is unreadable, I would love to see the frustration it would cause.

When we stopped our game of tag we went and sat in first class.  It was heavily littered due to the overnight ride and many uppity people believing that the servants would get it.  Edward and I sat across the aisle from each other and for awhile I closed my eyes as if to sleep, actually I was thinking of Rosalie and her errand of mercy.  I was hoping it was not going to be too trying for her and Esme.  Esme I knew would be alright, but this was hitting very close to home for my angel.  Plus I missed her.  I loved her and I missed her.  She has that very tight pull over me.  A very low hiss came from Edward.  Without opening my eyes I  whispered "Is something wrong?"  He didn't reply.  I assumed he was just reading my thoughts and didn't like all the Rosalie thoughts I was having.

I opened my eyes just before they called our stop in Clarksville.  I saw Edward with a look on his face that I never had seen on him before.  It was a murderous look.  In his hands was the Chicago Daily Times.  I had forgotten, well that is not quite true vampires do not forget anything, but those things to us that are not of top priority gets filed away until we need the information again.  As I was noting, I had forgotten that Edward was from Chicago.  His parents died there of the Spanish Influenza, and there he was changed by Carlise.  "Edward," I said maybe a little too sharply but it caught his attention, "What's the matter?  You are scaring some people."  Edward looked back at me and I could tell he was concentrating on making himself look and act calm.  "Nothing really Emmett," he answered back, "Just some news from home."  I looked at the paper quickly and read some of the headlines.  Amid the normal talks of the day, war, it seemed to be the daily news of Chicago regarding gangsters, racketeering, and it appears that the steel workers were on strike.  It was enough news of Chicago to depress a normal man, but a murderous look?  I'm not so sure.

We entered Clarksville about 5AM and from there ran the 26 miles to Springfield.  Edward stopped to pick up any Chicago paper he could find at the newsstands.  Since at the time there were 5 different newspapers to choose from he had little trouble getting his hands on one of them.  We chose the hotel we were going to stay at and after checking in he went to the lobby newsstand and ordered and paid for a month of the papers to be ordered and kept for him to pick up.  I can tell you that I am somewhat worried about Edward and his sudden interest in the Chicago News.  I did try to ask him what was going on, and got nothing back add to that the fact we were in separate rooms, it was hard to keep an eye on him.  I really believe that we are what we are, and our nature is to drink blood, human blood.  Even if we have been animal drinkers I don't think we will ever lose our taste for human blood. Sometimes I wish I had his gift of mind reading, I would love to know what was in that mind of his.

After checking in we both took showers and looked 100% better than when we walked in.  It's amazing how great a shower can make you feel.  As soon as it was safe to go out on the street we went to the local library to read back newspaper issues around the date of my death.  We found enough to give me the sense of who I was, and where I was headed.

According to the newspapers I had already graduated High School, and was going to start college at The University of Tennessee in the fall of 1935.  According to the society announcement I was going to study Business and then join my father in our family business in which we owned several stores and hotels.  On another society page was the announcement of my engagement to a Mary Louise Simmons.  According to the announcement we were to be wed after my college commencement.  She is beautiful, the picture of her brought back a small pull for me, but now my heart belonged to my angel.
Then came the headline "Local Boy Missing in the Appalachian Mountains"  It read:  Local Boy, Emmett Lewis, 17, did not return as scheduled from a planned hiking trip.  Rangers have been searching for Mr. Lewis since his father reported him missing when he didn't return home on the day he was supposed to.  As of now the rangers are searching close to his itinerary, yet they have found nothing.  Mr. Lewis is due to graduate this coming June, and attend the University of Tennessee this fall. Edward and I kept up on the story of the search and rescue for a few weeks until it changed to "Local Boy Feared Dead"  Basically it repeated all the information, including where the search was held.  Apparently my backpack was found torn to shreds, and there were bear prints around the campsite.  It went on to state what an experienced hiker I was, had some quotes from friends about what kind of person I was; fun loving, prankster, and very loyal.  My obituary stated that I left my parents, my grandmother Eloise, grandfather Roland, an older sister Margaret, a younger sister Judith, and a younger brother Joseph.  It also mentioned my fiancee Mary Louise Simmons.

It was hard to read about my death.  I had a hard time trying to figure out how my death impacted those I loved.  Once I had all the details I then started to go and eavesdrop on my family.  When I heard their voices and laughter vague recollections started to enter my head.  It began to feel like home to me again.  I wanted to make sure that everyone was fine and had accepted the inevitable.  I entered the house one night when everyone was sleeping and went through the house.  My old room looked like I never left it.  I had a beautiful picture of Mary Louise on my desk, along with my planner and date book.  I fingered through it so see what I had noted that seemed to be so pending and now so insignificant.  It held the dates for prom, graduation, and all the parties.  It appeared I had something planned in my free time between my trip and summer vacation.  It appears as if I led a full life.  In the sitting room I found my picture, and many family photos that we were all in.  I went searching for unframed photos, I wanted one of my whole family to keep with me.  It took me two nights but I finally remembered where Mom kept all the pictures.  I also took one of Mary Louise and myself.  I know Rosalie will be somewhat jealous, but I want to keep my past my past, but I would like to have some pictures with me for eternity.  Talking with Edward about it, he agrees that Rosalie will get upset, but will believe me that it is part of my past that makes me what I am.

During my invisible family time Edward would disappear.  I did stop by his room one evening and saw all the newspapers that had accumulated in his room.  I saw all the handwritten notes on the stories and asked him about them.  He said he was tracking crime rate and what was happening.  I didn't think much more of that.

I also found out that my older sister had married and I have a nephew.  She named him after me.  He is a joy as I watched from afar.  He is just starting to walk, and of course I swiped one of his pictures for myself.  I also watched Mary Louise.  From what I have heard and seen she has just started dating again.  My wish for her is all the happiness she deserves.  She will make a wonderful wife and mother, and the lucky gentlemen who steals her heart better take very good care of it, or I may have to come back and deal with him.

Edward has helped me so much through this self discovery trip I've been on.  He has been my rock helping me uncover and paste my past.  One night when we were hunting Edward asked me if I thought this trip was worth it to me, to shore up my past, if I really felt I could leave this all behind.  I explained to him that the past is what makes up the future.  It seems I was not a devil in my past life.  My life was full, my loved ones mourned me and have moved on.  My fiancee has seemed to also move on.  I can move forward now without regret.  I can leave and never return.  I can love my Rosalie without any doubt left behind, and my angel deserves someone without any reservations.  It is funny how people cope with death.  It seems to have pulled my family closer, and had made them realize to be thankful for what they had now, and not worry about what they will have in the future.

I was starting to plan our trip to New York to meet up with Esme, Carlise, and my Rosalie.  That is when I noticed that Edward had started to receive the local paper.  I asked Edward, "What are you up to?"  "Nothing that concerns you" answered Edward a little on the nasty side.  I assumed he was hungry and offered to go hunting, he said he was fine.  It was right after that I swear I could smell human blood on him, and shortly there ever his eyes were becoming tinged with red.  I then put it all together, he was becoming a judge and jury with all the newspapers.  "We are leaving today!" I yelled at him.  All he could answer was "Fine."

"Edward, what has gotten into you?" I asked.  "This injustice has to end," he replied.  "The police are just as corrupt as the culprits who are causing the damage.  Emmett, they are real people, real people who are being hurt.  Everything from losing their life savings to being beaten for speaking out.  There are women in Chicago being abused by the police, using their nightsticks to poke their breasts and their groins.  I just can't stand the injustice anymore."  "Edward," I answered calmly "You know we just don't get involved in such things."  "I know," he answered, and I believe Carlise would be very disappointed with me."  "I wouldn't worry about Carlise Edward, I would just worry about losing yourself in this self imposed vendetta.  Don't become the monster that we have latent inside us."

With that we headed the 26 miles to Clarksville to board the train to New York, to our recent home, to our family, to my Rosalie.

While we waited Edward was quiet.  He folded back into himself, back to being depressed and morose.  I was so relieved when the train came.  We boarded the train and found seats in first class, and just as the train was going to pull out of the station, Edward stood up and announced "Emmett, give my best to Carlise, explain to him how sorry I am, but I am not going back.  Tell him I may be back, but right now I know what I need to do".  "Edward!" I hissed, he knew I couldn't yell in the car, nor would I restrain him.  No matter what we tried to be Carlise insisted that we knew we could go our own way.  "Edward," I said a little deflated this time, "Have you really thought about what you are about to do?"  "Yes" was all he answered as he turned and left me.

I sat alone thinking about what I was going to say when I reunited with my family.

This Journal is no way affiliated with Stephanie Meyers; it is fan fiction and just that. It is meant to be read as fun, and written with imagination.

You can read Emmett Cullen’s Journal: http://emmettcullen’sjournal.blogspot.com/

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Last Train To Clarksville

We both ran like the wind to the woods, laughing the whole way. When we approached a herd of deer she ran up behind me, jumped on my back, then flipped over to get the largest buck, the one I was going for. It was wonderful to hear Rosalie laugh at me,then she scared the deer in many different directions. She thought it was just hysterical that she ate and I didn’t. At this point my throat was burning intensely; it was hard to watch her suck the buck dry. I said “Rosalie!” in a laughing growl “You took my dinner and didn’t even share!” Rosalie, still with a laugh in her eye answered coolly, “Emmett, how could I have known what you wanted, you didn’t say ‘pass the buck please’.” I yelled “That’s it, you better run and hide!” All of a sudden I thought to myself, ‘Emmett when are you going to learn to keep your mouth shut’. I was afraid she would get upset thinking back to Royce cornering her. Then it happened, Rosalie pushed me down and ran laughing all the way saying “You have to catch me first!”

Rosalie went barreling through the trees, and I was in quick pursuit after her. When I got up to her I caught her by her waist and I turned her to face me and I kissed her. She grabbed me with both hands on my cheeks and kissed me back, I mean really kissed me back! It was so unexpected, that I fell back and she fell on top of me. She looked happy to me, and this time I said to myself ‘Emmett keep your mouth shut’.

I thought I was in heaven with my angel. I had many thoughts rip through my head. Vampires can think of many different things at once and still be focused on what they are doing and the feelings that go with it. I didn’t want to think of anything else, I just wanted to concentrate on kissing Rosalie. Rosalie rolled to her side continuing the kiss, and just as quickly as it started Rosalie stopped, and rolled on her back. I stayed on my side looking at her and gently taking my hand, I started to softly stoke her face. It is a beautiful face, if you met her anywhere you would be mesmerized by it. If she is this beautiful now, I could imagine what she looked like before. Changing into a vampire enhances your look and thankfully toward the better. She must have been beautiful when she was a human.

Human, I wished we had met when we were human. She probably would never have looked at me twice at that time I laughed to myself.

Rosalie’s eyes drifted off to another place, I have started to call it her dark place, then they suddenly came right back to the present. She didn’t seem upset at all, it seemed to me that she was thinking of what to say next, which was excellent as I didn’t want to taste my foot yet again, nor would I want to spoil this wonderful moment we were sharing.

“Emmett?” she said hesitantly, “I’m so sorry.” I looked at her confused; usually it was me who was sorry. “What?…why?” I asked her, “I don’t understand why you are sorry. Are you sorry we kissed?” “Oh, no!” she answered quickly. “Emmett, I’m sorry because it’s taking me a long time to be able to give myself to you. I am just beginning to trust myself, and my decisions. I really didn’t expect you to stay with me so long. It must be very hard for you. ” She softly answered. “Rosalie, Angel” I started to say “I want you to take as much time as you need. I have already fallen head over heels in love with you, and I will wait until forever for you.” “But, But” she started; I quickly put a finger on her lips to stop her from saying anything. “Please Rose, listen to me, I’ll wait until the end of time if I need to. I don’t want you to do anything you are not ready for, and anyway I don’t want you that way until you are comfortable, and we are united together.” With that Rosalie stared at me surprised and said “What are you saying Emmett?” I looked at her mischievously and answered her “Come on Rose, I know you heard me.” “Yes I did”, she answered, then went on to say “I’ll let you know when I am ready, but until then you can woo me”. We both started laughing together. Then I finished our talk with “Woo you, I don’t know if I can afford to woo you…” Rosalie smirked.

“Emmett, it’s time for me to cook you a dinner! You have yet to see my culinary expertise.” She sprung up and ran as fast as she could. She found a large buck and brought it down. I was watching every part of her, her grace, her eyes, and most of all her smile. “Well”, she said matter of factly, “Are you just going to stand there and look like a lost puppy, or are you going to drink your dinner. I promised I would cook it for you and here it is!” I can’t really recall when we had this much fun in a real long time.

We continued to hunt until we were full. I could still sense the burning in my throat, but that really doesn’t go away. Carlise told me that he has learned from others of our kind that the burn never goes away, even if you drink humans.
I knew that it was getting late, and it was time to go back to the city and get on the train. I looked at the horizon and remarked out loud, “What a beautiful sunset, a perfect end to a perfect day, with the perfect love, and lady by my side.” I swear it looked that Rosalie would have blushed right then if she could. “Emmett” she whispered “Sometimes you step on your own feet when you say things to me, but I want you to know that many times you know how to say the right thing to make me feel wanted, loved, and safe.” “So,” I laughed and said, “Does this mean that we are officially dating?” Rosalie at that point rolled her eyes at me, kissed me again, turned and without words we ran.

As we were heading towards the station I replayed the last few hours in my mind over and over. I couldn’t believe we finally crossed that barrier. My angel has let me in, and I found out how much I was in love with her. Wait a minute; did I really allude to marriage? I did! Oh, I can’t believe I said that, but the most important thing to remember is she didn’t react negatively, most of all she didn’t slap me.

When we reached the station Edward and Carlise were already there. We found out that Esme’s train already left. Emily was safe at her mother’s house. Carlise made sure Mr. Lindsey and his goons were sleeping restlessly in jail awaiting arraignment. Mr. Lindsey was arrested for tax evasion, the IRS found out about his second set of books. He actually has a second set of books, which conveniently fell into the hand of the FBI. The IRS seized all his assets until it could figure how much he owed to them. It seems that Mr. Lindsey can be connected to organized crime, and can be traced to a list of crimes. and one of his goons is talking. Rosalie smiled, that’s what I loved to see. Her happiness, that’s what I wanted, I wanted her to be happy.

It seems that we accomplished everything we wanted to do today. Edward shook his head and laughed. He was listening to something. I can’t wait to find out if he found out anything that my Rosalie was thinking, again he shook his head yes. Our train arrived and after hugs and kisses, and kisses, and even more kisses, Edward pulled me by the shirt sighed and said “Come on Romeo, it is time to board the last train to Clarksville.
This Journal is no way affiliated with Stephanie Meyers; it is fan fiction and just that. It is meant to be read as fun, and written with imagination.

Editor: Nicole Alynn Atkins

You can read Emmett Cullen’s Journal: http://emmettcullen’sjournal.blogspot.com/

You can also read it: http://twilightdiary.forummotions.com/forum.htm

Join Emmett Cullen’s Journal on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=135463769805560&ref=ts

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Tying Up Loose Ends

*Please note, my wonderful editor is having internet problems this month, so we agreed to go ahead and post this entry. I'm sure she will scream at my mistakes, and I'm sure we will all hear her. LOL Let us all pray that the internet gods are watching over her and she will be back soon. Hugs Nicole.

Tying Up Loose Ends

February 15th, 1937

Last night was a wonderful evening for all of us, okay for most of us, Edward was standing in the shadows. Rosalie was so happy with her Valentine gift. I could feel how happy and excited she was because she gave me that special smile of hers. Her smile gave the stars no competition. Instead of a store bought card, I wrote her a letter explaining to her that she held the key to my heart. My love belonged to her and her alone.

While we danced the night away, Carlise told Esme about our day and all about Emily Rogers. As there was no time restraints for us, businesses close, the band stops playing, and everyone finally goes home. Well almost everyone. I took Rosalie to the middle of a trail we walk sometimes, and I laid down a blanket so we could sit and watch the stars. We kissed and snuggled and for about the first time Rosalie relaxed,I mean actually relaxed. She was starting to trust me, and I wasn't about to mess that up. I will give her all the time she needs and wants. When it happens for us it will be for love.

Rosalie actually was very loving when we got home. We hugged and kissed and held each other all night. She knew I was leaving tomorrow, so she held me tight, and didn’t want to let go. “Rosalie,” I whispered “please don’t worry about me going and coming home. I gave you the key to my heart, you, and only you can open it. You keep it for yourself because I don’t think anyone else is so right for me as you.” “Oh Emmett, I do love you,” she started to answer; “There is no one out there I trust with my heart also. I am resigned to the fact that you are leaving but will come back for me. I believe in you, and I will keep your heart close to mine until I can give it back to you.” At that point Rosalie gave me my Valentines gift a Rolex watch. It was me, very durable and very masculine in appearance. I loved it.

“Emmett?” She asked. “What is it Rose?” “I realize how much you really love me, it took me awhile, but I know now you will be back for me,” “yes my love” and she smiled and was quiet for a long time.

“Emmett?” She started again. “Yes Rose?” “Where’s Edward?” A simple enough question, but had a complicated answer none the less. I explained what happened at the Jewelers, and the details about the horrid owner and his employee Emily Rogers. I think if we don’t help her she will be dead. I could see that she was remembering Royce, so I hugged her tightly, and helped her to relax.
“I knew something was up!” She hissed. “I heard a little of Esme’s and Carlise’s discussion of what to do and Esme seemed concerned about this Emily person, and discussing their options of what to do with her. Esme sounded a little upset, like a mother that is upset, and they talked about having to take her to New York, well that was all I could get from listening, as they went out hunting.” She was getting very angry now. “Rose, honey?, honey?, Rosalie?” I asked her, getting worried about her anger. “Rosalie, don’t get angry with me not telling you about it, I wanted us to have an evening where we just relaxed and enjoyed ourselves with no interruptions. I knew she was safe last night, so I decided to wait until now to tell you.” “You only said something when I asked about Edward! How can I trust you to go away and tell me everything that happened to you?” She sobbed. I knew this was her lack of self esteem talking, but knowing it and seeing the past flare up in her eyes made me wish I could have met her before there was a Royce King in her life.

Just as I was starting to calm her down by having her lean on me and I stroked her cheek there was a soft knock at the door. I asked “who is it?” Very softly we heard “Rosalie, it’s me Esme, may I come in?” Rosalie looked at me, as I nodded to her, “yes Esme, and please do.” “I’m sorry to bother you two, but I heard the two of you and you both seem to be upset. I wanted to see if anything was wrong.” With that she winked at me when Rosalie turned her head.

Esme came and sat on the corner of the bed and took Rosalie’s hand, and quietly said “Rosalie, no one was trying to keep anything from you. Quite the contrary as a matter of fact, Carlise and I were smoothing out the details before I came to ask your help.” Rosalie answered “What details?” “Well Carlise and I figured you wouldn’t let Emmett go without helping him to pack, then getting ready to say good-bye.” Rosalie signed, you can tell she was trying to block out the inevitable, but finally resigned to the fact that I was really leaving for awhile.
“Rosalie, Carlise and I figured out that you and I should take Emily and her children to New York City. New York University is about the only University that accepts women into their institution for study. He says he will have no problem getting them to accept her. Carlise will meet us there after he takes care of Mr. Lindsey and any of his cohorts and make sure their never have the opportunity to take advantage of anyone else.” “Is Carlise going to kill them? That doesn’t sound like Carlise at all!” Rosalie hissed, almost if he was going to kill them, she wanted to stay and help! Esme answered, surprised at even the mention the fact of Carlise kill someone, no matter their character or their crime “Of course not Rosalie, he is just going to make his life miserable, as Mr. Lindsey has made of all his victims. He plans on Mr. Lindsey losing his business this morning and by five he will be on the soup line.” “I hope he chokes on it! Rosalie spat out.”
“Now Rosalie, just concentrate on what we have to do, and how we can help without Emily figuring out what we are.” “Okay, Okay Esme, what are we going to do?” Rosalie sighed. After Esme sighed herself, she went on to say how she will go ahead of them to purchase a house, decorate it, furnish it, and hire a nanny to watch the children while she is at school. Rosalie, you will help Emily get to where she will live, and Carlise, will be joining us after he takes care of Mr. Lindsey. He will help her with her acceptance and with all the expenses; at least she graduates and gains employment to support her and her children.

I sat there taking it all in. These monsters as humans would call us are the most sympathetic people I have ever met.

We all gathered the things we needed and went into town. We spotted Edward as soon as we turned the street, as we have sharper, heightened senses. We made it closer to him when I stopped cold. If I smelled it so did everyone else. It was a scent, a scent of a vampire, and not one we recognized. Carlise said “Wait, let’s get to Edward first, maybe he knows something.” Since we were in view with the humans we had to walk like a human, which seems so slow to me.

That is the reason Edward and I are taking a train, we need to keep up pretenses.
When we approached Edward he told us to relax. He told us that he did indeed smell the vampire, and he ran to see if it was one looking to attack us. He ran back to Emily’s, he said it took all of 2 minutes to find her and read her mind. Her name was Mary Alice. She really doesn’t know what happened to her. She is looking to meet someone in Philadelphia. Someone I thought? “Yes" Edward said, "someone.” Damn I hate when he does that. You can’t have a private thought to yourself. He looked at me and with one of his sly grins he said “I try Emmett, I really do. Anyway he went on to say she has visions, and he watched her kill an animal and drank its blood. Her eyes were amber like ours, she did catch our scent, and she wanted no part of looking to see who was near, like she was running from something.
“What about Emily?” Carlise asked, aloud so we could all hear the conversation. Well Edward went onto say that it appears that Mr. Lindsey is quite the coward, he sent 2 large men to see her. I listened to their thoughts and couldn’t believe at what they were told to do, and how much they were being paid to do it. Edward looked at Rosalie and told her he was sorry to have to say it aloud, she must have thought something. So he didn’t want to kill him, but he did want to send a message, so he staged a fight to scare them off. It worked so good that Mr. Lindsey himself was taken aback when he came sniffing around.

Carlise ran the plan through his head, and Edward thought it was a great idea. He even pondered getting the vision reader to make sure it will work. Carlise laughed.

Edward said that he had to go home and get his things. I knew I should have picked up his belongings, it totally slipped my mind. He also mentioned that Rosalie should hunt before she takes her journey with the humans. He told me he would meet me at the station later as our train doesn’t leave until tonight.

Carlise took the three of us up to Emily’s apartment. Carlise and I introduced Rosalie and Esme to her and the three young children. I could see Rosalie’s pain as she said her “nice to meet you” to them all.

Carlise told her of his plan, and when he told her about school and a nanny is when she broke down and cried. It was a happy cry. He told her that for her protection she needed to be ‘somewhere’ else while Esme did what she had to do, and soon He will have to do what he had to do. As she hesitated to leave without saying goodbye to her family and friends, Esme had to explain to her what happened to Edward last evening. I told her she would have plenty of time to say goodbye to everyone before she leaves, but she can never tell anyone where she is.

Rosalie excused herself and told them she would be back soon and we left. Rosalie looked at me and said “One last hunt before you have to leave?” She looked into my eyes and gave me that smile of hers as I said to her “beat you to the woods!” We both laughed at that and ran.

This Journal is no way affiliated with Stephanie Meyers; it is fan fiction and just that. It is meant to be read as fun, and written with imagination.

Editor: Nicole Alynn Atkins

You can read Emmett Cullen’s Journal: http://emmettcullen’sjournal.blogspot.com/

You can also read it: http://twilightdiary.forummotions.com/forum.htm

Join Emmett Cullen’s Journal on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=135463769805560&ref=ts
All feedback, suggestions and comments are welcome and wanted.

Rosalie, I Met Royce King Today

February 14th, 1937

The last time I sat down to write, it ended up looking like a book, I swear. It was very long, but I am happy everything was out in the open. What happened to my angel was terrible. If Royce and his goons were still alive I would personally kill them myself. At least now I can help Rosalie when she is afraid or depressed. Carlisle told me she will never forget the pain of what happened to her, but now I know I can help her face her demons.

Rosalie is not happy that I am going on my “field trip” with Edward. She was sobbing the other night, I held her, rocked her, and whispered in her ear all night. Edward helped by playing the very delicate and beautiful songs on his piano. When she finally calmed down she went to find Esme. Edward confessed, “Rosalie is not afraid of you going as much as she is afraid of you not coming back”. She knows that I need closure and that is why I don’t want her to come. Since I can’t remember my human days I may find out things in my past that I may not be particularly proud of. I will tell Rosalie everything I find out, as we decided on New Year’s that we will never again hold any secrets from each other.

Edward and I are leaving in 5 days for Clarksville, Tennessee, my hometown. This is the trip I’ve been waiting for. As vampires, we don’t need a change of clothes, however in order to fit in with the humans we will both have baggage with changes of clothing. We have made reservations in Springfield, enough distance away to not risk running into someone who knew the human me. We plan on doing all the things we need to when it is dark, but we are hoping for some “bad” weather so we can go out during the day.

We’ve plotted our trip on the map, and I am marking the days down on the calendar. I have been working hard to write close to 90 letters for Rosalie. We are not sure how long we will be away so I have written many letters for Esme to give Rosalie one a day while I’m gone. Esme sighed when I asked her to do it for me. She said, with a motherly love, “I hope Rosalie realizes what she has, all the things that has happened to her she deserves happiness”.

Since we don’t sleep, time means nothing to us, it seems to move fast as each day begins. I have been shopping for the perfect valentine gift for my angel. I am totally road blocked on what I can give her. I have even asked Edward if she had thought of what she might like. He answered hesitantly “The only thing she really wants is for you not to go. She’s afraid you won’t come back. She is afraid you might find something there which you can’t leave behind. Family, Friends, a woman you loved more than life.” “She is my ever after Edward, I will not hurt her in any way. This is something I have to do. I don’t think I can go on without making sure the past is exactly that, the past” I answered whole heartedly. “I know, Emmett, but I’m not the one you need to convince,” Edward replied quietly.

Edward has been very depressed lately. He gets very moody, on a bad day for him you need to keep a far distance from him. He believes that there would be no love in his life. I think with his looks and talents he will find the right girl for him. When he least expects it, and is not looking for it, then it will happen.

I know that Carlise “saved” or “turned” Rosalie, he and Esme hoped that Rosalie and Edward would fall in love with each other. That was never going to happen and it is not because I think I am better for her than Edward, and because they didn’t like each other when Rosalie was still human. She thought he was a rude snob that thought he was better than her, and he thought she was so full of herself that there was no room for her to think of anyone else except herself.

The truth is Edward is not totally rude all the time and is definitely not a snob. He is uncomfortable being around humans. Although Rosalie is self absorbed she was never taught or encouraged to be anything else. So I am not jealous one bit about the two of them, Edward wouldn’t fall for Rosalie, he will never know that her heart is warm, and that she can be very loving.

“Edward, I wish I could give her exactly what she really wants,” Edward raised his eyebrows at me and said “Which is?” “Children, grandchildren, growing old together and not be frozen in time.” “Ahh I see” replied Edward. I looked at him and said “Like you never have read her mind and known all this” He laughed and repeated to me, what he always says “Reading people’s minds doesn’t mean I have the right to tell everyone their deepest thoughts”.

So that conversation took me nowhere fast. He didn’t even give me a hint as to what to get her.

So I decided to ask her for a date. A date for her, for us. A date for us is going to a very nice nightclub, pretend to eat and drink, and dance the night away. I figured if we did this the night before we leave, I could help her not to be so anxious about my trip. We went hunting and when we were alone, I asked “Rosalie, my angel” “Yes Emmett?” she said, trying to figure out what I wanted. “Rose, I was wondering if you would like to go out with me on Valentine’s Day? I would love to take you to Ciao America, for “dinner” and dancing.” Rosalie smiled her beautiful smile and said “Emmett, I’ve been waiting for you, I already made the reservations, even at this late date. I don’t know why it is, but when I mention the Cullen name I always get reservations anywhere I want to go.”

Thankfully it was a snow mix rainy kind of day. That is wonderful for us we can walk among the humans because we don’t stand out. We still look different but it’s better than looking like we took a bath in white glitter. I was doing some magical item call me from the windows “Pick me, pick me!!!” Well I bought her dresses, with matching shoes and hand bags. But then I saw it, I knew it would jump out at me, and scream at me. It was a platinum bracelet with a diamond heart almost as large a real one, okay so I am exaggerating a little, you got me , exaggerating a lot. But it was 5 carats and flawless, of perfect cut and color. I had to have it for my angel. When I walked into the jewelers they looked at me in awe, “have you never seen a vampire before?” I laughed at myself. Then I asked about the bracelet. The sales clerk froze and stared at me. When she stopped sizing me up and down she shakily call for her manager, “UM…Mister Lindsey?! May I please have a moment of your time?” “I’ll be there in a minute, Emily” He answered her.

“That is a beautiful name for a beautiful young lady as yourself, your husband must be thrilled to have you as a wife.” Uh Oh, I did it again, I wish I can learn to keep my mouth shut. The tears started to form around her eyes, “I am so sorry if I offended you in any way, it was not my intention to do so” I said carefully choosing my words in order to turn this around. “I am not offended Mr…. umm you didn’t give me your name Mr.” “Cullen” I said to her quietly. “Why are you so upset Emily? What did I do to upset you so?” I asked her, I figured I Have brought this on I owe her to listen to her. She took a quick look at Mr. Lindsey who seemed to be with the same customer, I believe he was hitting on her. “My husband died in the war Mr. Cullen,” if my heart was still beating it would have fallen to the floor right then and there. She continued while the tears started coming down her cheeks “He left me with no money a mountain of bills to pay, and taking care of three children. He was the love of my life, and now he’s gone! I actually work here on commission; this is technically my third job. I never see my children because I work so much to keep food on the table” The high emotion that she was showing shook me to my heels, Mr. Lindsey never looked over. “Did you ever want to do something for yourself and your children?” I handed her my handkerchief. She replied that she would love to be with her children more, and she always wanted to be a school teacher. Yes I could see her as a teacher; she would be a fine one.
Emily started clearing her throat trying to get Mr. Lindsey’s attention. “Why are we waiting for him, Emily?” I asked. Well Mr. Lindsey is the owner; we clerks are not allowed to show a customer anything over a thousand dollars. His reasoning is when he sizes up a person he will know whether to trust them or not. I don’t know what he is going to think,” I laughed to myself isn’t that the truth, she continued “Anyway the real reason is so he can take the sale away from us so he doesn’t have to pay commission.” It was then I saw red. Ruby red eyes! I started counting in my head so I didn’t kill him, no matter how much I wanted to. Good practice for our trip tomorrow. If I slip up just once, Carlisle and Edward will not let me go!

“Oh, I see now, so you’re telling me that he is just a man out for himself, and has no gentleman qualities,” I said, keeping my anger tone and actions in total control. This was very difficult; I don’t know how everyone does it. I continued to talk without Emily even noticing my hesitation within myself. “Show me the bracelet Emily, I will take care of his wrath, I have been waiting too long. Oh and Emily how much is your commission?” She answered me “10%.” Now I was seething, this time it was different I heard Carlisle’s voice in my head “Emmett control yourself”, it was so real that I turned around and there he was. Edward was there just in case. “Hello Edward, Carlisle,” I nodded that I was fine; Edward gave Carlisle what was going on. “Edward, Carlisle, I would like to introduce you to Emily…err.. I’m sorry I don’t remember your last name.” She smiled and said “I never gave you one, but now since I know who you are I must say it is Rogers, Emily Rogers.”

Edward was first to respond, “Well Emily, hello to you. Do you know what is holding my brother up? He has an important date tonight. After all it is Valentine’s Day, and his Valentine is dressing as we speak.” Carlisle started with his pleasantries while I was thinking toward Edward I needed his help tomorrow, can we take the last train out at 10pm? Edward nodded and smiled. I will ask him about that later. Carlisle finished up his conversation saying in a concerned tone, “So you’re telling me that he is the catch of the town, he uses women then snubs them like dirt?” “Yes” she said meekly, “Then he makes sure all the men know what he did because he calls them ‘easy sleazy’.” I was grateful that Rosalie wasn’t with us. “I really feel sorry for them, but I am trying to take care of the house, my children, and myself working 3 jobs, I cannot help the women also.”

Well she took the bracelet out of the window, and started to show it to me. She talked about carets, color, clarity, and cut. Also known as the 4 C’s, I asked how much is it? She said the price and I didn’t care. I then saw a diamond charm that would go with it. It was a key, and it was perfect. I really wasn’t paying attention to the 4C’s or about the price. I was looking forward to see what the owner was going to do. The show was about to begin.

First Mr. Lindsey yelled across the store “Emily! You know the rules, I decided to give you a raise, but instead I am going to fire your ass!” Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder to buffer my reaction.

Edward turned to look at him, Edward the depressed one of us who hasn’t found love as of yet, was the first to confront him “You did not say what I thought you said!” The anger in Edward’s statement even scared me. Carlisle whispered to me so quickly no one could hear him. “He was hunting when Rosalie was attacked. He is still angry with himself that he wasn’t there to hear her screams and really save her life.”

Mr. Lindsey looked at his conquest and they both started to laugh. “Oh excuse me, Madam, it seems that Mr. Lindsey and you think it is appropriate to speak like that to a fine young lady. You can talk trash to the young lady; he is trying very hard to land the most women in town. Have you told her yet that the nickname you will give her is ‘easy sleazy’?!” The young lady blushed, yet didn’t move because she still believed that the most eligible bachelor was really interested in her. “A real gentleman treats a woman like a delicate flower, not a weed growing to crowd and kill the flowers.”

By this time Mr. Lindsey came over to where we were looking at what I picked out for my angel. He again was very rude and hurtful. “I’ll take over from here; get the hell out of my way.” Again Edward corrected him and the man was smug. “This is my store and I can do or say exactly what I feel like. After all I am the only jeweler; therefore I have cornered the market in this stupid town!”

“Well Mr. Lindsey, Emily has helped me immensely, you should praise her not destroy her,” I said with my anger starting to come out. “You have no idea who you are addressing sir.”..” um, Mr. Lindsey these are the Cullen’s, Carlisle, Edward and Emmett” she told him quietly. “Emily, you are a very stupid girl, why didn’t you tell me who these people were?” as he puffed himself up in front of us. This time I growled at him, and he stepped back, a little afraid.

I looked at Emily and told her to put the key on the bracelet on the same link as the heart. He started to say “I’ll do it…” “I don’t think so Mr. Lindsey. My purchase is over $10,000 dollars, and I know my father is purchasing something as much if not better from Emily.” “She is fired, she gets nothing from these sales!” he replied while the snide woman on the other side started to laugh some more. Edward turned and started to look at her like food. She was taken aback, and then Edward said something I never thought would come out of his mouth. He looked at the woman trying to land herself a rich fish and said, “At least make him buy you a nice dinner, before he lifts your skirt, I’ll be back in town tomorrow and I will call you the name that Mr. Lindsey will tell everyone in town, ‘easy sleazy’, men don’t marry women like you, they just use you like a throw-away toy.”

“Carlisle”, I said, “are you done picking out what you wanted?” “Yes,” he answered, he wanted to get away from the situation as fast as possible.

“How much do I owe you?” Emily answered “Between you, Mr. Emmett and you, Mr. Carlisle, the total is $29,361 dollars.” Mr. Lindsey started laughing at her, “I can’t believe you are so stupid Emily, they are using you, and they have no intention of really spending that much money!” This time I growled and scared him so much, I could smell the fear emulating off of him that made him much more tempting. Instead I reached over and grabbed him by the suit lapel, and not so calmly said “You speak to her like she is a queen, don’t you ever call her another name!” “You really think I care about her, she is fired anyway” he snickered.

I turned and looked at Emily and calmly asked her if Mr. Sleaze Ball owed her more than today. “No, today was the first day of a new pay week; I picked up my last wages two days ago.” “How much did you sell today?” She seemed afraid, “Don’t worry Emily we will help you. “I sold $3,428 so that totals $32, 809,” “Very good now, 50% of that is $16,405. Okay Mr. Lindsey here is the remainder of the amount that is yours” Mr. Lindsey became so angry I thought he was going to have a heart attack. “She doesn’t get 50% commission!” He was screaming now.
I calmly said to him “Consider this her severance pay.” Then he threatened all of us. I wasn’t worried but I was worried about Emily. Edward heard my thoughts, and said I think I am going to spend most of the evening in town, and very casually turned to Emily, “I plan on being in town tomorrow, and please let me have the honor of walking you home tonight, and walk you to the bank in the morning. That is a lot of money to be carrying around, and since it is not open now, it will be more comfortable for you and least worrisome for me.” Emily smiled and said “That is very considerate of you. Thank you, thank all of you.” One could see the tears starting to form, we all hugged her before we left the store, and we could see the ugly, nasty stare from Mr. Lindsey. Something tells me that Carlisle or Edward will have a private conversation about Emily and her safety.

We split there, and now I was in a hurry to get home to be ready for our ‘date’ tonight. I didn’t know at that time that Rosalie asked Carlisle and Esme to join us for Valentine’s Day.

I better go she starting to get dressed, and I bought her the nicest dress and shoes to match it for tonight, then I have to fly home.

Now I have a vile taste in my mouth, I met a Royce King, and I didn’t like that feeling.


This Journal is no way affiliated with Stephenie Meyers, it is fan fiction and just that. It is meant to be read as fun, and written with imagination.
Editor: Nicole Alynn Atkins
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Wiping The Slate Clean

December 31st, 1936

It’s really too bad that Royce King, John, and the other yahoos were dead, otherwise I would have made sure they were dead by midnight, not to see another year. For this I am proud of my Rosalie. Of course that is not what Rosalie needed right now. Right now she needed me and my understanding.

I slowly got up and walked to the window where Rosalie was standing and staring out into the New York lights. I was very careful to be sure that she felt safe.

I walked over to stand next to her, not behind her, as I didn’t want to startle her. I then turned toward her and I slowly took her hands, one at a time, as gentle as I could, and turned her towards me. I could see the emotions building up inside of her.

I slowly hugged her closely and whispered, “Please Rosalie, let me in just a little, I would like have my turn to talk”. Rosalie answered “Okay, Emmett, I see you have a lot to say, although I may not like it”, finishing with “I understand if you decide to leave me, I come with a lot of baggage.”

“Okay Rosalie,” I was starting to get a little angry now. “It is time for you to sit and not speak.” As she was beginning to sit down she started to say “but….” That is when I put my finger to her lips. I sat next to her, holding her hand.

“You have given me more than I could have even imagined,” I stared into her eyes so she could see the sincerity in what I was saying. “If you had just let me die when I was attacked, I never would have met you, my soul mate, and my angel”. Rosalie said “I never should have turned you into this life!” I replied quietly, “Then my life wouldn’t have been complete. Rosalie, we are meant to be together, if not in a human life, than in this life.” I went on without hesitation, “The moment I heard your voice, the moment I saw your face, the moment I woke up I was so drawn to you like Romeo and Juliet. One could not live without the other.” I watched her beautiful eyes gazing into mine; I thought she must be looking in my soul. “I know how much you hate this life, and I probably would if I didn’t have you to share it with”, I told her, eagerly pouring out love and sincerity. “So please never beg me to forgive you because you think you were selfish for doing this to me…to us, our destiny is to be together and I thank God for you every day!”

I let that sink in for a little bit, and then went on to the next that was hurting my love. “Rosalie, what happened to you was totally unforgiving,” she cringed and said “I know Emmett, and I understand why you want to leave!” “Leave?” I stood up and started to pace, “Leave?! For someone who is so sharp, Rosalie, you missed the target. You are the purest woman I have ever met. You think you have everyone fooled that you are a shallow, inconsiderate person, but not me, I see the real you.” I took a breath, “I see through the facade you put on so well. You know you are beyond beautiful, but it’s not who you are, and all of us know it. You are special not because of your looks, but of your listening and love for all of us.” I sighed, Vampires don’t sleep, but that doesn’t mean we don’t get exhausted. “What Royce King,” and just the mention of his name made her stiffen and pull back, but I went on, “What Royce King did to you was inexcusable, you did nothing wrong, you did not ask for it, you did not seduce him. But because of your beauty you gained attention from the wrong man. With that you trusted him so much, why would you ever think he could do something like that to you?”

“If you had not killed him I would be out there giving you a New Year’s present. What they did to you was not love, at least not the way that kind of love should be. It was power, they had power over you, and with every scream they satisfied their sadistic need even more.” Rosalie started sobbing without any tears, the only way a vampire can, and I finished with “I am from the South, and I do have a higher sense of morals and actions. The actions of those men would have been handled in the woods. My morals tell me you are refined and vitreous and I would be honored to be with you for eternity.” Rosalie jumped up and nearly crushed me in her embrace. Still crying and sobbing, but it was different. It seemed that she was relieved not to have to hold back from me anymore. The she kissed me, I mean really kissed me. I was so shocked to believe it was really happening. I knew it was a breakthrough for her, for me, and most of all for us.

“Rosalie”, I softly spoke in her ear, “I hope somewhere in your heart you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you”, she stepped back and looked me straight in the eye and said “Oh Emmett, I was so afraid to tell you. I thought you would think I believed in sex before marriage, that you would think I was a tramp.”

“No Rosalie, you were the victim of a sick minded individual, and I know you never suspected him to act like that. I think that we need to go slow. I am afraid I may do something to you that will push the button on the wrong memory. You need to talk to me and we will work it out together.” Rosalie remarked softly “I promise, Emmett, to tell you when I start to feel uncomfortable, maybe we could talk it out. If I do lose it again Emmett, what will you do then?” I answered quickly, as not to seem hesitant at all, “Then I will help you distinguish between the ugly past and the wonderful present.” She hugged me tightly; I have never felt so close in such a long time.

“One last thing Rosalie,” “What is that, Emmett?” “I promise to try not to do this, but if I call you Rose, please don’t hate me” She then smiled at me, not just her mouth, but her eyes and her total body smiled “Emmett you may call me Rose anytime you want to, but don’t tell anyone else. I don’t want it to come from anyone from you”, and with that the slate was wiped clean.

When the family came back all I saw was Edward nodding yes to Carlisle and Esme. I think they were just as relieved as I was at this point. Esme grabbed Rosalie, no words needed to be said. Edward broke the silence: “Everyone, let’s get ready to dance, in two hours it will be a new year!”

This Journal is no way affiliated with Stephenie Meyer; it is fan fiction and just that. It is meant to be read as fun, and written with imagination.

Editor: Nicole Alynn Atkins

You can read Emmett Cullen’s Journal: http://emmettcullenjournal.blogspot.com/
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Still Listening Part 2

Rosalie kept talking, getting more emotional as she spoke. “I was just a trophy that Royce would show off at all the social engagements. My parents were as happy as they were invited to all the society parties. My parents were climbing the social ladder through me.”

“I did tried to talk to my mother about my concerns, and all she would do is tell me how wrong I was and give me tips on how to talk to the servants, and emphatically speaking that I should get pregnant as soon as possible.” Rosalie stopped at this point, her expression was blank, almost as if she really wasn’t in the room, as though she was daydreaming of something that was out of her reach.

“Emmett,” Rosalie started again, however her tone changed rather quickly, “I really wanted that life, kids playing, Royce kissing me, and have a happily ever after, but you see Emmett it was never meant to be.” I heard the hitch in her voice, and knew what she was going to say next will be so hard for her. I still sat there and listened. I believed at that point we were getting close to what happened to her was coming.

“Emmett, I don’t deserve you.” Now I was tired of listening I had to say something, how could she say she didn’t deserve me! I am totally in love with her. Every part of her, she was my angel. She came over toward me as if she knew I was about to say something, and she put her finger on my lips as if to tell me PLEASE DON’T SAY ANYTHING.

“Emmett,” she finally whispered, “I am not pure, and you deserve pure!” I sat there, wanting to say something, I wondered what she meant. “I know sex before marriage is wrong, and is something I would not have done. However I had no choice.” She was becoming more upset as she talked
.
I didn’t know if I could handle anymore, seeing the look of terror on her face. “Emmett, one night when I was coming home, Royce was with 5 of his friends. Royce called me over, and I was happy as he was going to introduce me to his friends, something he had never done before.”

Rosalie walked over to the window and looked out. “The night is not my favorite time of the day. If it was during the day when he called me over I would be alive today.” She went back to her story, still at the window. “Royce and his friends were drunk. Royce was talking to one of his friends John, whom I never me before. He was telling John that wasn’t I a ‘looker’ as he said. John then told Royce that he couldn’t tell since I was all covered up. Royce grabbed me from behind and started to pull my clothes off.”

“I shrugged him off telling him that I’d see him the next day sober. As I tried to walk away Royce wouldn’t let me leave, asking me where I was going.” I just was starting to feel sick knowing what must be coming next. I know that Vampires can’t get sick, but I still felt it in my stomach, and I didn’t like the feeling. I just started to pray that Rosalie wasn’t going to tell me something I didn’t want to hear.

Rosalie stopped here and turned to me to see what my reaction was up to this point. If I showed her disgust, it was not aimed at her, it was toward someone whom Rosalie trusted, and was taken advantage of.

“The more I screamed and fought them, the more they hurt me and beat me. I’m sorry about the hatpin that I got angry with you, however I had a hat on that evening and Royce tore it off, with the hat pin and my hair it was attached to.”

“I really don’t remember how many times each one of them had their way with me, all I really remember is the pain and the blood, and asking God to let me die quickly so I didn’t have to lie in the street in all that blood.” I was devastated my angel was treated so poorly in her life, I totally understand her keeping a safe distance from me. “God didn’t want me, but Carlise came to find where the intense smell of blood was coming from. When he found me he picked me up and then I just passed out from the loss of blood.”

“Well the rest you know. I woke up burring I was so sure I was in hell. When I realized what was happening to me, I screamed to please kill me.” For the first time she looked at me, I mean really looked at me, she saw the anger boiling. “Don’t worry about them, I killed them all. I kept Royce for last, so he knew that something was after them. I didn’t care that John went back south, and where the others went to hide I found all of them. I not only killed each of them, but I killed their guards too. Since Royce was last, I tortured him for days before I killed him, and for increase effect I wore a wedding gown when I went for him. I didn’t taste any of their blood; I didn’t want their blood flowing inside me.”1*

“You see Emmett why I am begging you for making you what you are. I didn’t have a choice for this life, and I never gave you a choice either. I was so selfish. From the time I heard you screaming, and smelled your blood, I felt so attached to you, that I couldn’t lose you. I begged Carlise to change you, to make you a monster. When you call me angel, I cringe. First I make you a monster, and secondly I cannot offer you a pure woman, only a soiled one.”

For the first time after what I thought was minutes, but it actually was hours the room fell closer to silent. All I could hear was Rosalie ‘crying’
I knew I could get up now; I could even talk, which I knew that was what Rosalie was waiting for.


1 Stephanie Meyers Twilight saga, Eclipse

This Journal is no way affiliated with Stephenie Meyers, it is fan fiction and just that. It is meant to be read as fun, and written with imagination.

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Still Listening Part 1

January, 1937, re: December 31st, 1936

I know I should have written long before today but with what Rosalie told me, I had to control myself. I had to place my anger in a vault, lock it up, and throw away the key. I know, I know I should have placed my anger into you dear journal, however I didn’t want Rosalie to have read you before she trusted me thoroughly. I would not be disrespectful toward her. Like I would ever think of disrespecting her, let alone hurt her with words or physical force..

Going back to New Year’s Eve, Esme, Carlisle and Edward went to find a New Year’s ball where we could easily fit in and dance the night away. Rosalie paced, and told me to listen, and not speak while she talked. According to what she said, I may or may not get the whole story tonight.
Rosalie started, with dry tears and low sobs: “Emmett, first I have to beg your forgiveness,” at that I opened my mouth to start telling her that she had done nothing to beg my forgiveness for. I then shut it as I remembered not to speak.

Rosalie went on not missing a beat. “I need your forgiveness as I have doomed you to a life that you had no choice. I know what being frozen like this means, and how I wished I died the night I was turned into a part of this life. I was so selfish for my own needs that I begged Carlisle to change you knowing what I was begging for, but I wanted you so badly that I was willing to do anything to have you.”

“Did you know that I was supposed to be Edward’s mate? To help him out of the depression he was in?” she continued, “But it wasn’t meant to be. I could have told Dr. Cullen the first day we met when I was still human. I thought he was rude and he didn’t seem to care either way. I told my mother that he was not the one for me. Mother thought that he would be good for me, as his father was a doctor, and Edward seemed to be very educated. He seemed to have a bright and successful future ahead of him. Mother and Father were social climbers and the suitors had to match their criteria for courting me. Money, money, and the more money you had the more you would meet the criteria that would let you in the door.”

“Of course I believed what my parents told me every day. I was the prettiest girl in town, which is where my shallowness comes from. So because of my looks and parents, I “caught” the eye of Royce King. It was a whirlwind romance, between the flowers and the parties I felt like a princess made by the son of a banker.”

“We were engaged, the date was set. I had the most beautiful and of course “expensive” wedding dress that money could buy. I was in heaven, and I was starry eyed. I didn’t notice Royce eyeing other women. I was so naive. I didn’t notice that he rarely looked in my direction unless he was introducing me to business executives.”

“You see Emmett, the only reason I remember so much of my past life as a human is because I swore I would never get hurt again.”

Emmett

1: Based on the book Eclipse by Stephenie Meyers

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Listen Carefully, And Don't Speak

We waited so long I didn't even know if it was day or night.  Finally the door to our suite opened and in walked Rosalie with Esme right behind her.  I saw Edward nod and I knew I was watching a secret conversation between him and I think Esme.

Rosalie had yet to say something and Esme said "Sorry to keep you waiting for us, we wanted to see the sun rise so we went to Cadillac Mountain in the Maine where at this time of year is the first location to be struck by the sun's rays in the morning."  Esme smiled as only Esme could, the motherly smile.  "Oh Carlise", she said "We must go together sometime, it was so beautiful!"  "Then we hunted on the way back."

I stood up and opened my mouth to say..."Sit down brother," Edward said.  I sat down and kept my mouth shut, as I could figure out that was what I have to do.

Rosalie went into her room and didn't come out.  We were afraid to talk as we all knew that Rosalie would hear us.  Esme did state that Rosalie was calmer now and she just needed her space.

It was the morning of New Years Eve, and I was hoping that we were going to have a wonderful New Year, as we all were going dancing at some of the balls tonight.  Ha!  Who would of thought that I could dance!

The next thing I knew Rosalie came out of her room and looked at everyone and said, "I'm sorry everyone, I didn't mean to cause this emotional drama.  Especially now during the holidays.  Please forgive me everyone."

I started to stand up to tell her everything was OK, when I felt Edward's hand stop me, I sat down again.

Carlise spoke up first "Rosalie, my daughter, you have plenty of reasons for being so upset.  You didn't ruin anything for me, I just wish I could make it all go away." He said this so heartfelt, and looked like he was
suffering as much as Rosalie.  Edward's face looked as pained as Carlise's spoke these words.  I knew he was probably reading my angel's mind.

Edward spoke next "Rosalie, if I had heard your screams that night I would have ran to help you.  I was out hunting and stayed out for a few days.  You know that right?"  "Yes", Rosalie answered so much like a whisper that even with vampire hearing, you could barely make it out. Edward stood up, and hugged her saying "Rosalie, sometimes we act like we care less about each other, but you are my sister, and I love you.  I never would let anyone hurt you again, I promise."  If Rosalie could speak it would be through tears and sobs In the meantime I growled and started to stand.  Someone hurt my Rosalie?  Just point them out.  This time it was  Carlise who grabbed me by my shoulder, and sat me back down.  I was starting to feel like a yo-yo, plunging up and down.

Edward took the lead and said "Carlise, maybe you, Esme, and myself should go and see where the best balls are tonight.  We don't want to have anywhere to bring it in."  I was the last person sitting on  the davenport,  I figured out that If Rosalie wanted to have me stand and speak I would be doing so right now when she first came back to the hotel.

Carlise, Edward and Esme left at that time leaving just Rosalie and myself in the room.  Again I started to rise, as a gentleman does when he is alone with a lady,  Rosalie looked at me as if I committing a crime.  So I sat back down as she started pacing.  There was so much tension in the room I could feel start to smother me.

"Ro" I started to say, when she looked at me and said.  "I think it is about time I told you what happened to me the night of who I was and what  horrible things that happened to me right before I changed."  I was relieved I would finally know what is going on in her head, aside from Edward who knew everything.

Rosalie started very hesitantly "Emmett, I think I will tell you everything I can say until it starts to hurt to much."

Again I started to say something and her eyes shut me right down.  I haven't said two words since she came back, not without trying.

She looked at me and whispered again with a little sob in her voice "Emmett, while I tell you my story, I really want you to just to listen carefully and don't say a word."

I was totally baffled, but if my angel wanted me to listen carefully and don't speak that is what I will do, I also will remain seated as that is what message Edward was trying to tell to do.

"Listen carefully Emmett, and don't speak until I am done" she said in a whisper...

Emmett

Me and My Big Mouth

December 1936.

Before I start, let me say I am a large man.  I don't really remember much of my human life, but even though I don 't remember most of it, I do know that I could have been the town bully.  However I would take on the bullies to help the ones who couldn't stand up for themselves.  I also knew that a lady is always treated like a lady no matter how what they say or do.

So as I was saying, Rosalie and I were going for an evening stroll in New York.  We were looking at all the pretty lights and stopped and looked at all the window displays.  I was holding her hand, which surprised me, because usually if she wants to hold hands or hug, it always is initiated by her, she never would let me take  her hand or get so close.  I really believe that she was so hurt in her human life that she doesn't really trust anyone except for Esme.

We were strolling down the street, laughing and joking, and we stopped in front of the store where the mannequins were all dressed in mink and chinchilla fur coats with the matching buff, and on top were
the fur hats to match.  Now here is where the messy part starts, I am so glad to be able to write this down because I don't think I can handle this alone with my temper, anyway here is where the messy part starts mistake Number 1, I look at my own personal angel and said "Oh Rosalie, I should have asked Edward to get, or have made just for you, a hatpin to match your rubies.  You know, I have never seen you in a hat" - and that was it! Rosalie yanked her hand from me and screamed at me "I don't wear hats and I don't want a hatpin!" and then she ran I mean ran.  Fortunately we were alone and Central Park was across the street!  I could at least see what others could not, I saw where she was running to and took off after her.  When I finally caught up to her she was kneeling in the snow, sobbing the way only vampires do.  I know now I should have gone to get Esme, but I really think that my brain has never caught up to my brawn.  Instead I made mistake Number 2, I walked up behind her and before I could say her name, I placed my hands on her shoulders saying "Ros..A LEE" as she flipped me over her head and tossed me into the lamppost, It didn't break but it was very dented.

I moved away from the lamppost shaking the cobwebs out of my mind when she attacked me for the second
time.  This time however I was ready for her.  As she was coming at me, the look on her face was murderous.
I feared for her, not that she could hurt me, but for what she wanted to do.

I yelled "Rosalie! Stop!" as she threw me through the snow, thankfully a tree was there to stop me.  Mind you, I could have stopped her anytime, but I don't believe in hitting a woman at anytime, especially my angel, although at this particular moment she looked more like, um looked like, like, like a vampire.  We went at it more and more with her just yelling "Royce King, you will not hurt me again!" over and over again.  The only thing I could say at that point was "Rosalie, sweetheart, it's me Emmett!! I am not Royce King, no matter who or what he may be."

OK now here comes mistake Number 3.  I couldn't stand seeing her in so much pain like this, I grabbed her waist from behind pinning her arms down at spoke to hear as calmly and as comfortably as I could, and she went wild.  I had to let go, or she would have hurt herself, and then she yelled "Keep your filthy hands off me!"  I let go of her immediately and stepped back, she then slapped me hard across my face.  I was in so much shock and was so hurt, I wanted to just run.  Instead she started running again.  I was afraid just to let her go, but in this state she would kill any human within any close vicinity of her.  I ran after her a second time, and this time she stopped and turned on me in a crouching position with a deep growl.

At this point I knew we were in big trouble.  I backed up from her with my hands up, and spoke clearly and softly said. wait for it (mistake Number 4), "Rose..."  "Don't you ever call me Rose, who do you think you are I am NOT ROSE, I am Rosalie!!!  "  At this point I knew I was defeated and nothing I could do or say would calm her.

"Rosalie, if you would just wait here, I can help you."  I finally got her to agree to wait there, I ran as only a vampire can to the hotel, walked just a little too fast in the lobby, and took the stairs instead of the lift because I could run faster.  When I ran onto the floor, the room door opened as Edward read my screaming thoughts and was waiting for me, as were Carlise and Esme.  I spoke so fast than any human could never hear.  I told them what had happened and I don't understand what was going on.

Carlise and Esme started to go, when Edward spoke up "Carlise, in light of what has happened, I think Esme should go there alone."  "Why would you say that Edward?" Carlise asked?  "Well in the state Rosalie is in, she may even look at you as

It's The Holidays!!

December, 1936

It's been quite awhile since I've taken the time to write this down.
 
Since my taste of human blood, it has made it very difficult for me to be around humans, I cannot go to any of the stores in the area.

I relied  on Carlise and Esme to buy for everyone except for Rosalie, as I wanted Edwards eye for beautiful things.  I told them what I wanted for whom they were buying for, and have each buy what I wanted for each other.  Rosalie my love would like anything with jewels in it, so I bought her a 5 carat oval Burmese ruby surrounded by diamonds pendant which will highlight her beautiful neck, with earrings and a ring to match.

She was so surprised that she shrieked and  ran across the room to hug me as hard as she could.  She almost  knocked me over all while screaming "It's so beautiful  Emmett, I just love it thank you Emmett, I just love you for it." I was so taken aback and said "Rosalie, What I give you is from my heart.  Since my heart doesn't no longer beats, I wanted you to wear the red symbol that it would be."   Thankfully she didn't knock me down, I never would have been able to live that down with Edward.  Speaking of Edward I owe him big time as he bought Rosalie exactly what I wanted to give her.  Esme and Carlise bought her a matching hair comb, that will be so beautiful in her blond hair.

Edward and Rosalie don't get along to well.  Edward is a loner, and sometimes he will make a comment towards her that really presses her buttons, as she does him.  I really think that they would die for each other if either of them were in any kind of trouble.  True sibling rivalry I guess.  However saying that he bought her a sterling silver vanity set.  The oval mirrored base, the brush, comb, and the small vanity hand held mirror.  All of them with inlay mother of pearl and small rubies and diamonds.

Rosalie gave me cuff links with a single diamond set into the gold so it wouldn't catch on my suit jacket and a matching tie clasp.

After we opened all of our gifts we all went hunting together, then  ran to New York City to see all the lights and the windows decorated with moving characters all having to do with Santa Claus.

We then checked into the poshest hotel there was, as I thought to myself where did we get all of our money. Every time I ask  I'm told not to worry about it.  It would seem that the depression hurt almost everyone, yet we were fine.

Before I go off into another tangent I was telling you we checked in to wait until The New Year is celebrated.  We wanted to go ice skating at Rockefeller Center.  We were going to take in a Broadway show, their were many George M. Cohen shows playing.

After checking in I see we were given a huge suite with separate bedrooms for Carlise and Esme, Edward, Rosalie, and myself.  I wish Rosalie felt about me as I do for her, then again I do have an eternity to wait for her.

After unloading our suitcases I asked Rosalie "Would you like to take a stroll with me?  It is such a beautiful night".  She smiled at me the way she melts my heart and answered "Of course I would Emmett".

She put on her Christmas gifts and away we went into the beautiful night...

There is much more to say, but I am emotionally tired.  I think I made a mess of things with Rosalie, and the only one that can clean the mess up is me.

Emmett

Shame, Shame, Double Shame On Me!

Going back home with Rosalie was one of the hardest things I had to do since becoming a vampire.  It was as if I was a child who just broke a window.  I said, "Rosalie, will Carlise toss me out?" "Emmett, Carlise understands our nature, that is why we can leave at anytime.  Esme will take it to heart, as she sympathizes with the humans who die from any vampire hands, but she will mother you for being what you are" Rosalie answered.

Edward knew what happened as soon as we made it home.  Usually he doesn't listen to our thoughts trying not to pry into our private life.  However today I made my thoughts scream to him explaining what happened so he could warn Carlise and Esme before I got home.

When I rounded the corner I was very surprised to see Carlise waiting at the end of the drive.  "Well Rosalie, Edward must be packing my bags, here is where we will part."  "Emmett YOU are NOT the mind reader in this family, let's just go see what Carlise wants."  I then told Rosalie how I was screaming to Edward to prepare Carlise and Esme what happened.  Rosalie started to laugh "What?" I asked, which only made her laugh harder."You are a big burly vampire who has someone else tell mommy and daddy what goes wrong so you don't get punished!"  That is when she started laughing so hard it seemed she was gasping for air, at which time I just started to softly growl.

To be honest I was wonderful to see my angel laugh.  Don't get me wrong she does laugh, but this time it was different, she was really laughing.  Seeing this reaction was like we finally made a breakthrough in our relationship.

So I approached Carlise avoiding eye contact.  "Emmett, my son, I never expected any of us to be able to abstain from our true nature.  We try very hard, but it is against our inherent instincts and needs. I will never hold that way of life against you, nor will I make you leave us as we are your family, but I need to ask you if that is the way you choose to live to be sure to hunt far away from home, as we need to fit in, and you must avoid any human contact with red eyes."  Oh hell I thought, as if I wasn't ashamed before, I really am now!  It's really not fair!

"Carlise," I said quietly "You are so unfair!"  "What?" he said.  "Carlise you are supposed to be yelling, and yelling and when you are done, you yell some more!  Make me do extra chores, make me find a switch so you can give me a switching I won't soon forget!" I was yelling myself now.  By this time I heard more laughing, and I looked around, here was Rosalie and Carlise.  Esme was on the porch, an I looked up and Edward was having a real good time laughing as well.  Then Edward says "Carlise we forget he is from Tennessee and they use the switch for punishment, and it is worse when you had to go and get one to be used on you!"  I growled again when Edward shouted "Calm down Emmett, we are all laughing because we are trying to picture what taking a switch to you would actually do."  "Yes" Esme concurred "I think maybe a redwood tree may make you feel it a little bit before you crack it in half"

All was well after I insisted to apologize make amends.  Edward is going to go back to where they lived to see if there were children involved, and if so, to set them up financially so they will not have to want for not.
He made sure the house and property was paid in full.  They will have a fine upbringing, with their money in trust.  No one can take advantage of them, and at age of 21 the money will be theirs.  Their education will teach them how to take care of their money, and how to treat people well.  Edward set up an account just to pay the taxes, and left his business card of where he may be contacted if they need be.

That was very comforting to me as I would never have thought of such things.

So as far as our trip is concerned we have pushed it back for about 6 months.  Hopefully I can get the human taste out of my mouth, and out of my mind.

Just to mention Esme, she was sympathetic towards me, making sure I was OK, and not kicking myself.

Rosalie helped me so much to overcome my slip.  I think she is getting to trust me more and more.  I hope she will soon trust me enough to let me in and help her to move on from what her problems really are, as I sit and watch climb into herself, and just go off to a land far far away.  It just breaks my heart.

Emmett

Well Nobody is Perfect

May 20th, 1936

I almost had my trip with Edward set, when something happened that could change our plans.

Rosalie and I went for a walk through the country side just taking in the sparseness of homes through this farmland.  There would be a house, and the next one would be at least 5 miles away.  It was an overcast sky, so we would be able to walk easily during the day.  We fit in on overcasts days, with the humans.  We still look different but at least we don't sparkle. 

I still think of the day Rosalie showed me in the sun what happens, and why we cannot come into contact with humans,was so interesting.  Both of our skin looked as if we were totally engulfed in diamonds.  I didn't know exactly what I looked like without a mirror, but I can tell you that my Rosalie was so beyond words that I just blabbered about with nothing making any sense.  She smiled that smile, and laughed at my actions.

So Rosalie and I were taking a walk just for something to do, as we never sleep, when all of a sudden I smelled a smell that knocked me off my feet.  Rosalie asked me "Emmett what 's wrong", and I told her "I smell sweet honeysuckle and the bouquet of sweet sherry" something so amazing and asked her "Do you smell that?"

"You mean the human" she asked?  I answered "Human?  What human?  There is no human here!  It is a smell that calls out to you and invites you to partake of the wine".  I started to run.  I left Rosalie there on the road, looking shocked and unprepared for this moment. 

I saw in my prolific vision Rosalie running after me.  I knew she wouldn't catch me, and if she did, she didn't have the strength to stop me.  Across the field were two humans working the land.  I went for the one who's smell called to me.  I took my time as it was like drinking a fine wine, and needed to be savored.  The other human ran.  As Rosalie ran up to try to stop me, I turned at her and growled in a crouch position.  She was not going to take my meal away from me, nor did I want to share this particular wine with her.

"Calm down Emmett," she whispered, "I have no intention of stopping you, but I will not leave you in this state."  Then she backed away and sat on the ground until I was done.  I hate to admit this to anyone but I enjoyed the humans blood so much.  It was the difference between ground beef and steak.  Now I understand what Edward says about us being vegetarians.  It was the most fulfilling and satisfying than any animal I have killed and drank from.  I could get very used to it very quickly, but it would take me away from my guardian angel Rosalie.

I then got up and closed my eyes letting the smell capture me and again I took off in a streak that no human could see me running.  I found the other human and drank him as well.  I sat down on a rock and put my head in my hands.  I started thinking, thinking very hard.  What was it about that human that I had to have her?  There was no walking away from her.  Her scent was so compelling that if I didn't do anything today, I would come back and to what I just did.  Worse yet I would be alone and I don't know how I would walk away from all the humans.

Rosalie came up to me quietly with a shovel in her hand.  "Emmett," she asked hesitantly  "I'm so sorry."  I put my hands down and looked up at her.  She had a little smudge of dirt on her nose, I wanted to laugh, but it was not the appropriate time or place to do so.  "Your sorry?" I asked, "I'm the one who lost total self control!"  "That may be right," she replied with a hitch in her voice.  Is that how a vampire cries?  I wondered.  She sat next to me and continued "If I wasn't so selfish you wouldn't have to deal with this everyday" but I couldn't leave you there I was just as drawn to you and you to me.  Remember when you said that?"  I answered emphatically "Yes I remember, and those feelings, and they won't ever change".

"I already buried the first one, here you do this one." With that I handled my responsibility.  When I was done I put the shovel back where it belonged, made sure everything was back in it's place, and I just wished to myself that there was no children coming home to no parents. 

I turned to hug Rosalie and she backed away from me.  I didn't ask her why, she always backs away when I try to hug her, give her a peck on the cheek or even hold her hand.  I haven't been able to get her story out of her yet, let alone try to figure out how she could remember so much about her human life and I have so latent memories of mine.  I stepped back and said to her, I am going to touch your nose with my shirt if that is ok with you.  I know she was uncomfortable, but she let me do it.  "There the dirt is all gone now", she smiled that smile that would make any man melt in her presence. 

I had asked Edward to try and pick out of my head what my memories were, but he just said that his gift doesn't work that way.  However if one pops into my head he could tell me what I was thinking about.  That isn't enough really, that is why we are taking the trip to begin with.

I am writing this entry sitting on the same rock.  Rosalie says it is time to go.

So now I have to go home and tell Carlise and Esme what happened.  Carlise may not let me go.  I will get my answer soon enough.

Emmett