It has been over a year since I have written as nothing interesting has happened, but that changed today. We had heard from Edward intermittently the past few months. He has been working in Chicago for some time now, and now has an address we can contact him at. Carlisle asked Edward to get a phone so we can be in contact easier but he is hesitant to do so, but Carlisle gave him our number anyway. It is very difficult to use a phone now as usually they are located on the wall at the local food store. Very rarely do you find them at work or in a home. Luckily for us we can afford one, as this way we are less to be overheard. We still have be careful as most calls need to go through a live operator. To call across the country you need several different operators in distant cities to connect you to your party. Many of them love to listen to other peoples conversations and either they would think we were crazy or they will learn of our existence which is a crime within the vampire laws. (There are laws for us, but I will explain about those at a later date.) Anyway that's why it came as a big surprise when i answered the phone today that it was Edward.
I was here alone due to Carlisle being at the hospital,(did I ever mention he is a doctor), and my Rosalie was with Esme out shopping for new clothes. When the phone rang it actually startled me, as it was so quiet here and it never rings. I was so surprised and happy it was Edward as it gave me the opportunity to ask him to come home. Edward, journal, made it under no uncertain terms was he going to come home with so much good he must do to help the human population. He also told me that he resented Carlisle's and his way of life and how he must embrace the killer side of him, needing to feel it then learn how to control it. He made me see for the first time what my true nature might be.
I asked him what he was going to do next and he told me of a man over in Germany that has manipulated his way into having almost ultimate power, and the citizens have no clue as to the damage this man is doing not only to them but to the rest of the world. Word has it that he has started to make rules about who should live, who should be eliminated and who should be sterilized. He also heard about the forced labor that they must do to survive. Finally he heard that concentration camps have been built and are starting to be filled with the Jewish race, as well as other people he considers undesirable; as people of certain religious affiliations, both mental patients, and disabled either physically or mentally. He has also made laws regarding interracial actions between citizens. He has been given so much power that those living over in or near Germany foresee a major war beginning to stew. He said he doesn't exactly know what is going on there, but he is determined to find out. Edward is going to go to Europe to see for himself what is going on. He feels that maybe these people are feeling very restricted now, just as he feels with Carlisle expecting him not to be his true nature.
We discussed this for awhile, and I can see Edwards' point on this, as sometimes I feel the reins holding me back from something that my nature demands of me. Mainly I work through these urges for Carlisle, Esme, and especially for my Rosalie. Sometimes I feel like I am going to explode and eat the whole town. I know I have had slip ups, and have always been forgiven, but I am starting to become jealous with Edward.
I told Edward to be careful and to send me a telegram personally to tell me exactly what is going on, and to send Carlisle his that he will know what is going on, but not enough to want him to come to you. I told him I will look forward to the telegram.
We hung up just as everyone arrived home. I told them exactly what Edward said to me, and it seems he will be headed towards Germany at anytime now. I told them he will be telegraphing us after he is there for awhile. I did not tell Carlisle about his resentment toward him and his true nature. I think it is hard enough for Carlisle to deal with what is happening now, let alone that he is the cause of it.
I didn't tell them about the special telegram he will send me. I don't know why I did that let alone try to understand what was going on inside of me some inner turmoil has started and I feel like a rat hiding anything from any of my family. I didn't know then about the conflict that was beginning to rage inside of me. I am so glad the mind reader is not here, as I don't understand my thoughts myself yet, let alone someone is privy to them would drive me insane.
Well my Rose would like to model her new clothes and I need to seem normal to her. As it is now, my internal self is starting to rethink who I am and what I am.
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This Journal is no way affiliated with Stephanie Meyers; it is fan fiction and just that. It is meant to be read as fun, and written with imagination.
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